6 Common Signs of Anger Issues

It happens to the best of us. When life hands you lemons, you don’t always have the presence of mind to make lemonade. Anger is an emotion that is so ubiquitous that we’ve all felt it at one point or another. Any number of things may have triggered it, from bad traffic, a betrayal in a relationship, a stubborn child, a wayward spouse, an obtuse colleague, and more.

Anger is spoken about in many places in the Bible. We’re warned against giving it its head, shown examples of how to deal with it constructively, and told many stories illustrating the destructive power of anger. Anger is something whose felt presence in our lives is tangible and widely dispersed.

When we feel anger, it affects us mentally, emotionally, and physically. It can increase the heart rate, increase blood pressure, cause muscle tension, not to mention feelings of frustration, anxiety, and stress.

There is no part of our being that remains untouched. Even spiritually, anger can affect our disposition toward God and others. Left without resolution, anger can overturn the commands to love God and our neighbor, and that is one reason Scripture warns us to be wary of anger in our lives.

If anger is something we’ve all felt at some point, how do we tell if it’s become a problem? What are the signs that anger is now an issue for you that you need to address before it undermines the life that Jesus intends for his people?

The key aspects that distinguish anger behavior and anger problems have to do with their duration, degree, and the consequences that follow. Here are six signs to look out for that will warn us when anger has become a problem.

6 Common Signs of Anger Issues

1. You can’t express it

It may sound odd to say it, but anger ought to be expressed. There are several unhealthy ways of dealing with anger and bottling it up is one of them. Suppressing anger might seem like self-control when compared to violent outbursts, but they can be just as detrimental to your health and the health of your relationships.

Verbalizing your anger and addressing the situation or person that triggered it is a good way to deal with anger. Suppressing it does not deal with what initiated the emotion; instead, it can lay the groundwork for other negative expressions of anger.

Passive aggressiveness is one such unhealthy instance of expressing anger. This form of anger isn’t obvious and doesn’t manifest as violence or in shouting. Passive anger often shows up as being mean, apathetic, or sarcastic in your interactions with others.

If you’re feeling angry toward your boss, passive anger shows up as being late for work, avoiding work altogether, or underperforming and being unprofessional. If it’s toward family and friends, passive anger may reveal itself as avoiding social situations with them, giving them the silent treatment, and alienating those connections. A person gripped by passive anger may not even know that they are angry, but it still affects them and the people around them.

2. You express it in destructive ways

When people get angry, they tend to express it in a variety of ways. some of these are more colorful than others. For some, it erupts in verbal vitriol that scorches everything in its path. Others are more physical in their expressions of anger, and so objects and persons might find themselves in motion.

The Bible warns us, “In your anger, do not sin”. If you express your anger in ways that are emotionally and verbally abusive towards others, or that threaten or put others in physical danger, that is a sign of having anger issues. If you can’t rein in your anger when it endangers others and makes them feel unsafe, that is anger that is out of control.

Apart from endangering others, if your anger also endangers your safety, that’s a problem. Beyond physical danger and self-harm, anger that is expressed inward as negative self-talk, self-isolation, and self-deprivation of necessities such as food is also an unhealthy expression of anger.

3. It’s present more often than not

Anger is one of those emotions that gets triggered every so often from certain circumstances. Financial or work stress, a particularly hard day with the kids – all this can make for a short temper and quick escalation toward anger. However, if you find that anger is a reality that’s with you more often than it isn’t, that’s a sign that something is wrong.

As circumstances change and as we resolve the situations that triggered an angry reaction, the anger should dissipate. If anger is present more often than it’s absent, there’s an imbalance there that needs redress.

4. It gets triggered easily

One of the fruits of the Spirit is patience, also called long-suffering. As people mature, they develop the ability to shrug off small slights and not take things too personally. We live in a big world with lots of different types of people in it. Personalities and different preferences mean we’ll have differences of opinion in all manner of areas of life.

All of these can be little pockets of potential conflict waiting to happen. Normally, we take all this in stride. When the slightest provocation triggers anger and an angry reaction, that’s symptomatic of an anger problem.

5. It lingers too long

When something happens to make us angry, it’s wise to work through the emotions toward resolution. Anger alerts us to the fact that something is wrong; dealt with appropriately, our anger moves us toward action that addresses our concerns and hopefully reaches some sort of resolution.

If anger lingers too long, if you are dwelling and feeling angry over something that’s happened or that has been addressed, that is problematic. If an angry outburst or episode with anger lasts way beyond the situation, there may be cause for further investigation.

6. It’s disproportionate

There are things which ought to make us angry. Seeing a child or a small animal being abused is something that ought to stir our innards to take action to rectify the situation. Having an outburst isn’t always a bad thing – some circumstances may warrant that reaction. What’s concerning is when the reaction does not match the situation.

If someone carelessly wrenches your arm that’s already in a cast from a previous accident, an angry outburst birthed from the pain and frustration at their carelessness seems proportionate to the circumstances. If you have the same reaction because someone didn’t respond quickly enough to a non-emergency text, that’s a disproportionate reaction.

If small things elicit huge angry reactions, or if big things elicit an over-the-top reaction, that may signal that anger has the best of you. Getting very angry over things that most people aren’t phased by may indicate an anger problem. As people are different, what we consider “big” or “small” will differ.

People have different passions, so while one person may not be bothered about the environment, another person is deeply invested and gets agitated by a seemingly thoughtless disregard for littering laws. Having the objective assessment of a trained professional such as a mental health expert will help you determine if your reaction to a given situation is warranted or goes beyond the norm.

Conclusion

Anger can be triggered by a variety of things, including underlying disorders like depression, alcoholism, and mental health conditions such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where it shows up as a symptom of those conditions. Anger is a normal physiological response that tells us something is wrong. In itself, anger is a healthy emotion that can lead us toward taking positive action to resolve whatever is wrong.

Like fire, it’s useful when controlled, but without boundaries and purpose, anger is a destructive force that can lay waste to relationships. If you find your anger easily triggered, omnipresent in your life, and disrupting your day-to-day life and relationships, seriously consider seeing a mental health professional and receive guidance to get your anger under control.