5 Signs of Emotional Abuse

While physical abuse is easy to detect, signs of emotional abuse are different. It is just as damaging but far more difficult to recognize, both for the victim and those around them. In instances where emotional abuse takes place between spouses, the marriage can appear normal on the outside, with chaos, confusion, and  signs of emotional abuse occurring behind closed doors.

A person may even be shocked and frightened to realize that they have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, without even fully perceiving it.

While it is certainly difficult to extricate oneself from this sort of situation, with the help and support of a biblical counselor, it is possible – and necessary – to obtain freedom from emotional abuse. God does not condone abuse of any kind and has plans for joy and peace in your life, not pain and misery that can be avoided.

5 Signs of Emotional Abuse

Here are five signs of emotional abuse to look out for:

1. Words as weapons.

An emotionally abusive person may never lay a hand on their victim, but their harsh words achieve the effect of a full verbal assault. One of the signs of emotional abuse is the use of words as weapons, whether it be angry words, criticism, jibes, or insults.

Verbal abuse also comes in the form of gaslighting, where the person denies something they said or did to make the victim question their own perspective and, eventually, sanity.

2. Walking on eggshells.

A sign of emotional abuse is the sense that you’re walking on eggshells and fearful of how the abuser will respond. They may walk through the door and seem happy and upbeat, only to turn and erupt in an angry outburst, which leaves the victim reeling. As they never quite know what to expect, the person on the receiving end of emotional abuse lives in a state of trepidation.

3. Blame and excuses.

A common trait in a person who shows emotionally abusive behavior is that they never take responsibility for their actions or words. They will shift the blame onto the victim for something they said to provoke them or excuse themselves without owning up to having done anything wrong.

4. Threats.

Threats are also a clear sign of emotional abuse, as the abuser will do anything to maintain their position of power and control. They will use threats to create an atmosphere of fear. If the victim does attempt to speak up for themselves or demonstrate that they are going to change the status quo, these threats will intensify.

5. Isolation.

The goal of an abuser is to make their victim completely dependent on them. This means that, over time, they will see that the person cuts ties with their friendship circle and family members. It might not happen overnight, but gradually circumstances will transpire so that they live in an isolated state with their abuser.

Using the terms abuser and victim in the context of signs of emotional abuse is entirely accurate, but it is once again important to remember that this kind of abuse is rarely touted as criminal behavior, but is far more subtle. The emotional abuser is trapped in a toxic state of trauma, often due to negative childhood experiences.

They don’t know how to behave in relationships or free themselves from this bondage. If someone who recognizes themselves as perpetrating emotional abuse commits themselves to counseling, then it is possible for them to, with God’s help, overcome these destructive patterns of behavior.

Whether you suspect you have been emotionally abused or you worry that you are emotionally abusing someone, a counselor at Beverly Hills Christian Counseling can help. Contact the office or a counselor for more information.